Engagement Without Effort

The long and short of what's been happening is that my lovely girlfriend got it into her head that we were going to be married before the end of the year.

This will no doubt strike most of you as strange. In the United States, it's really not possible to accidentally get engaged (Andy Griffith notwithstanding). But things work very differently here. Had I taken the time to read up on Chinese marriage customs, I would not be in this situation.

The main problem is that, traditionally, there is no formal proposal in China: no declaration of intent, no presentation of an engagement ring, etc. The point at which a couple becomes "engaged" is very fuzzy, to the point where it seems like it just sort of happens. The closest thing to a proposal/betrothal is the formal meeting of the parents. In fact, most of the wedding ceremonies (multiple - there's not one big procession like in the West) are focused on the parents, to the point where - at least to my American eyes - the couple is secondary.

So what I've been trying to do is disabuse Orchid of this notion without hurting her feelings. It's not easy, and there's a good chance that I'll have to leave her. I don't want to do it, but I may not have much of a choice given the exacting requirements her parents are placing on this, to the point where they're actually making demands of me.

More as it transpires.