I haven't written in a while. There are various reasons for this, but one of the bigger ones is that I have simply been busy. Busier than usual, in fact. Here's the story:
Today I do not have classes. In the morning, the office called me to tell me that I might be teaching substitution classes in the afternoon. A few hours ago, I saw that they were trying to call me. I turned off my phone and left the apartment.
I suppose I should feel bad about doing this. I don't.
I should set the stage for this. The semester begins in March. Before that, I get called into the office for a meeting. After being ignored for half an hour (not at all uncommon), one of my bosses finally decides to tell me why I've been called in. Essentially, this is what I am told: that they do not have confidence in my teaching skills, that they are only keeping me on because I am American, that they are sending me to small, Podunk schools to minimize the damage I may cause, and that they will be calling me in on a regular basis to explain not only what I have done in my classes but what I will be doing so that they know that I am not screwing up. They obviously used much softer language, but I'm not a child. I think the above is an accurate representation of what I was told.
Then the semester starts. The first week, I'm called in to fill in for another teacher. The next week, they do it again. Ditto the third week. To my recollection, I've been asked to do extra classes every week since the semester started. They sent me to one school which they claimed (in the aforementioned meeting) lodged complaints about me. On several occasions they assigned me to teach small children. I have received calls asking me to teach extra classes during my regular classes. Once, I turned off the ringer on my phone and later discovered that they called me no fewer than seven times trying to give me extra classes.
Consider those two paragraphs carefully. Something is very wrong with this picture.
Last semester I did not have a regular schedule so I was routinely dropped into substitution classes. I suspect that they are still used to this and seem to have forgotten that I now have a full regular schedule. Perhaps it's far simpler than that, and they think I'm the kind of sap who will do whatever they ask without complaints. That would certainly explain the bizarre phone calls asking me to track down other teachers in the building.
But enough of that. I should explain what substitution classes are like, as I have never gone into much detail. I will be given essentially no information on the classes in advance. The office will not tell me the level of the class, the size, or what they have been learning. Usually the school itself will be new to me. I never know the actual teacher, so I can't get any help from him or her. When I arrive, I am taken right to the first classroom. The teachers there will ask me what I have prepared, evidently unaware that I have known about this class for only about three hours.
The class begins. These are city students – better off than the country kids I am used to. The class itself is far larger, possibly topping 70 students. In all likelihood, they did not pay much attention to their regular teacher, and they will not be doing me any favors. Sometimes a local teacher will be present to help. If I am alone, I have essentially no hope of controlling the class. I introduce myself. No one pays attention. I start in on the lesson. No one pays attention. If I am lucky, there may be a few students in the front of the class who want to chat. Otherwise, I simply stand awkwardly at the front of the class and watch the clock tick down. Repeat three times, go home.
These classes are invariably terrible. I have had exactly one (out of perhaps dozens) that was decent. Every sub class since then has hewn strictly to the above models. It doesn't matter, though. Neither the office nor the school is judging me. I'm just filling space. The company gets paid when their teachers are present. That's the real reason I'm there.
And that's why I don't feel guilty about blowing off those classes. I'm not shaping young minds when I do sub classes, I'm acting as a seat filler for a company that has treated me with profound disrespect and deep dishonesty since I first started working for them. Maybe they'll get upset, but there's not much they can do. They won't fire me; they can't. I'm their best sap.
I did not write this to troll for pity. I want to give everyone a little peek behind the curtain. To show people how businesses work here. My story is neither unique nor exceptional – horror stories far worse than mine abound in this business. This is here to give you pause before you, too, embark on an “adventure of a lifetime.” This is also here to inform everything else I've written. Not every experience has been bad, but the worst ones – the lies and betrayals from people I trusted – have wounded deep.
Happier posting to follow, hopefully.
